


i'm gone for 5 minutes and there's already 100 notifs

by Anonymous



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, F/F, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Yas, chatfic, hinata and kags are qpps here, i think im funny but im not, if you think this is funny thats great, im laughing, queer-platonic partners, tanaka and noya are best friends goals af, this is a mess, will kags and hina stay as qpps tho? who knows onLY ME HA
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-11-17 00:29:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,872
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11264226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: youneedsomemilk: im gone for 5 minutes and theres already likeyouneedsomemilk: 100 notifs





	1. im bored and this sorta happened

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey heY hope y'all like this im probs gonna change a lot of the notes and summaries and stuff so watch out you know.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata makes a groupchat, Tsukishima has hidden feelings, and Daichi uses his Dad Voice™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayeeeeeeeerr whatsssss upppp
> 
> also i update really inconstistantly so yeah
> 
> sunshine: hinata  
> youneedsomemilk: kageyama (i mean, like duh)  
> nyan: kenma  
> tsundereshima: tsukishima (but ofc)  
> gucci: yamaguchi  
> liBRO: noya  
> senpai: tanaka  
> eh-no-shits: ennoshita  
> ki-no-shis: kinoshita  
> nah-rits: narita  
> ace-ahi: asahi  
> sugar sugar: sugawara  
> dad: daichi

* * *

_sunshine added youneedsomemilk,   nyan, tsundereshima, gucci, libro, senpai, eh-no-shits, ki-no-shits, nah-rits, ace-ahi, sugar sugar, and dad to "im bored and this sorta happened"_

[3:46 am]

nyan: shouyou wtf

youneedsomemilk: yeah shouyou wtf

sunshine: kags pls

tsundereshima: what is this

tsundereshima: this

tsundereshima: this mess

sunshine: dont act stupid tsundereshima its a group chat

tsundereshima: i want to leave

gucci: no u dont tsukki and i know why

tsundershima: shut up yamaguchi

gucci: sorry tsukki ~~not~~

youneedsomemilk: hinata ily but why do you wake us all up at ass oclock for this

sunshine: read the name of the gc kags gdi

dad: Go to bed, please.

dad: Or there will be consequences.

sunshine: i just got goosebumps his Dad Voice works even in chat

youneedsomemilk: same

dad: Go to bed. It is too early for this.

sunshine: ok ok going sryyyy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hmu on tumblr @i-am-tsuffering (main, reblog trash can) or @a-fangirl-and-proud (not reblog trash can, my posts)
> 
> sorry ill try and make the next chapter a bit longer heh sryyy


	2. ignorance is bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah it is i again ur favorite local bundle of insecurities yes yes yes ur favorite local bundle of insecurites i am so Not Funny™
> 
> more people joining in on all the fun yaz  
> yes, i know im not original ok, also not everybody will be in the same chapter at the same time, thats just how it is sorry
> 
> oiks: oikawa  
> shoyu: iwaizumi  
> tantanmen: mattsun  
> tonkotsu: makki (also it was from that one scene when oikawa was serving [yeS I KNOW OIKAWA SERVED A LOT JUST--], i just couldnt think of anything else)  
> soccer dad: kouji  
> basketball mom: izumi  
> kindiechi: kindaichi (ok i had no other ideas sUE ME)  
> laze: kunimi  
> kyoken: kyoutani (ik ik its not original lev me alone)  
> yahubba bubba: yahaba (i got this from seeing bubble gum fiTE ME)  
> h2o: watari  
> kubro: kuroo  
> brokuto: bokuto  
> akaashi: akaashi (well,,)  
> smol: yaku (lev made him)  
> tol: lev  
> inuoka: inuoka  
> shibaeyama: shibayama (only inuoka's tho ;) )  
> a silent voice: fukunaga (yes, i made a koe no katachi reference)  
> yamabroto: yamamoto
> 
> k think thats everybody (im editing this and im laughing bc im so aggressive why)

[9:03]

sunshine: help me lollaskjdlf;a

sunshine: heLP SOMEONES ATTACKIGN ME UGHASLD

youneedsomemilk: HINATA WHATS WRONG

nyan: shouyou? u ok?

tsundereshima: lol whats happening

sunshine: yahoo~ finally got it yas (＾ｖ＾)

sunshine: also its oikawa~ i borrowed chibi-chan's phone so i can add myself to this who thought it was a good idea to leave me out i cri

sugar sugar: step away from my child 

nah-rits: obviously someone smart thought it was a good idea to leave you out

sunshine: how meAN（ ﾟ Дﾟ)

sunshine: i thought you were one of the nice people im

nah-rits: im only nice to ppl i respect

_nah-rits changed their name to naritaAA_

senpai: niCE KILL NARITA LMAOO

_liBRO named the group chat "niCE KILL"_

kih-no-shits: nicE babe

naritaAA: thanks babe 

tsundereshima: that's disgustingly sweet

_sunshine added oiks to "niCE KILL"_

oiks: yahoo~ (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

sunshine: finally got my phone back

youneedsomemilk: t(-_-t) go away oikawa you trash bag

_youneedsomemilk changed oiks's username to trash_

trash: tobIO-CHAN DONT *SOB*

_trash added shoyu, tantanmen, and tonkotsu to "niCE KILL"_

trash: u guys give support pls

trash: also i hate ur guys' users

shoyu: i support you kageyama good job you did well you made me proud

tantanmen: yes me and makki support you kageyama

tonkotsu: ^

youneedsomemilk: thank you iwaizumi-san, matsukawa-san, hanamaki-san

trash: know what nvm i want to leave (T_T)

sunshine: your fault you added yourslef to a group chat where everyone's obv gonna hate on you

tonkotsu: hA

sunshine: now there is no escape

sunshine: you can try great king

sunshine: the leave button is only an illusion

youneedsomemilk: hinata why

sunshine: bc i want him to suffer

sugar sugar: omg

_trash has left "niCE KILL"_

_sunshine added trash to "niCE KILL"_

sunshine: the leave button is only an illusion

liBRO:hA lmao

liBRO: i am a prOUD SENPAI

sunshine: noYA

liBRO:SHOUYOU 

sunshine: NOYA

liBRO: SHOUYOU

sunshine: NOYA

liBRO: SHOUYOU

sunshine: NOYA

liBRO: SHOUYOU

sunshine: NOYA

liBRO: SHOUYOU

sunshine: NOYA

liBRO: SHOUYOU

[cut for length] 

-5 minutes later-

youneedsomemilk: im gone for 5 minutes and theres already like

youneedsomemilk: 100 notifs

youneedsomemilk: hinATA NOYA WTF

sunshine: whoops

liBRO: whoops

* * *

[1:34]

sunshine: im gonna add some new ppl kay

tsundereshima: its your group chat do whatever the hell you want

_sunshine added soccer dad and basketball mom to "niCE KILL"_

basketball mom: sho-chan!!!

soccer dad: what may we do for you, shouyou, our son

dad: excuse me

sugar sugar: idk who you are but hinata is OUR son

senpai: omg

liBRO: well well well

nyan: lol

gucci: oh no

soccer dad: excuse me we were his parents first

nyan: more ppl need to see this im sorry for this

baskerbal mom: we went to his first game, hell, wE PARTCIPATED in his first game

_nyan added kubro, brokuto, akaashi, smol, tol, inuoka, shibaeyama, a silent voice, and yamabroto to "niCE KILL"_

sugar sugar: we went to his first game too

soccer dad: yeah but did you participate in it

dad: ...

sugar sugar...

trash: great idea

_trash added kindiechi, bored, kyoken, yahubba bubba and h2o to "niCE KILL"_

nyan: yall scroll up

kubro: lmAO

brokuto: fiGHT FIGHT FIGHT

akkashi: bokutosan no

a silent voice: some men just want to watch the world burn

smol: omg

yahubba bubba: im getting popcorn

soccer dad: we even call him by his first name, right _shouyou?_

basketball mom: yeah, right, _sho-chan?_

sunshine: uhh.., i didnt expect this to happen i honestly thought they would get along with eachother

youneedsomemilk: 'sok hinata

tsundereshima: im dyinggg hahaHA

ace-ahi: don't fight please!

_~Meanwhile, in a private groupchat with Daichi, Suga, Kouji, and Izumi~_

dad: so great to meet you!

basketball mom: same here!

basketball mom: wait lets pretend we dont get along itll be hilarious

sugar sugar: yES I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THAT

basketball mom: great minds think alike

sugar sugar: you mean great *moms think alike

basketball mom: yes yes we the mother figures

soccer dad: so, how has shouyou been doing?

soccer dad: also im curious what is his relationship with kageyama? they seem to be really close and stuff, are they a couple?

soccer dad: jus' wanna kno yanno

sugar sugar: well, not really, theyre actually queerplatonic partners. also, hinatas been doing great! hes improved a lot!!

basketball mom: so great hes found a team he can actually work with, im happy

dad: we're really happy to have him too

basketball mom: also, queerplatonic partners???

sugar sugar: also called qpps, its just mean that its a relationship that's, idk how do u say it, beyond friendship, but not quite romantic or sexual

soccer dad: ah ok

basketball mom: thats nice

basketball mom: also, does sho-chan have a harem again

sugar sugar: ah yes, its hilarious! everyone is super jealous of kageyama's relationship with hinata and im just

sugar sugar: dying, lmao in the corner

dad: lmao yes

sugar sugar: what do you mean by "again"?

soccer dad: ah yes

basketball mom: sho-chan has always had a harem

basketball mom: in middle school some of his volleyball club and surprisingly a bit of the basketball club was crushing on him it kinda hurt to see lol

soccer dad: anyways, who's in the harem??

dad: you'll never believe it

sugar sugar: so there's the saltbag tsukishima, its rlly hidden tho, almost never found out but im the mother and i should know, then that cat, kenma, its kinda hard to tell bc hes rlly quiet and stoic ig and stuff, but you kind of pick up the smiles and look in his eyes, then we're _suspecting_ yachi

sugar sugar: im somewhat sure abt yachi, but maybe not

sugar sugar: not related to hinata but i think yamaguchi is pining after kageyama, hinata and kags never rlly told the whole team just me and daichi bc we asked? and the whole team thinks the two are dating, so yamaguchi thinks hes got bo chance and stuff

soccer dad: i can see why tho, if this yamaguchi is crushing on kags

sugar sugar: and then a few more ppl but like thats u kno

sugar sugar: im too lazy lol

basketball mom: i can only imagine the tension between the first years during practice lmao

dad: u have no idea and hinata and kageyama, those two idiots, are so oblivious to everything

dad: as they say, ignorance is bliss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was listening to the haikyuu ops and eds while writing this self-indulgent, messy pile of trash and im sobbing and battle of concepts is tearing me apart i cant hell, im a mess
> 
> im so confused by my own writing like, my head is spinning?? im just gonna publish it and maybe come back to it later so you know
> 
> hecking heck im such a bad writer lmao ill try and be better i promise


	3. gdi tsukki

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wrote this bc im listening to mcr and im depressed bc mcr broke up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i actually wrote this at, like, midnight last night and decided to publish it the day after once i edit  
> its probably still messy but eh
> 
> pls check out all the links in this chapter (except the third link if you dont rlly like morbid deathy stuff ig)
> 
> also as far as i know, there isnt any vball practice for them on sundays and idk what hinata does on sundays so i just idk headcanoned (tf do you call it) that he runs since he misses the bike ride to school idk

[11:12 pm]

tol: im so fcuking sad rn

tol: tfw ure listening to mcr and then you remember they broke up and youll never hear them together ever again

tsudereshima: i heard mcr

sunshine: fucc uuu lev  
sunshine: im crying

sugar sugar: u ok hinata?

youneedsomemilk: he is crying i can confirm, im w him rn

kubro: oya?

youneedsomemilk: no

brokuto: hiNATA DONT CRY

youneedsomemilk: i hate you lev

yahubba bubba: why bc he made hinata cry?

youneedsomemilk: no bc now hinatas playing mcr sO FCKN LOUD ON HIS SPEAKERS I HAte you so much honestly lev

nyan: not this again

tsundereshima: hinata listens to mcr what

senpai: whats an mcr

sugar sugar: idk

tol: oh

tol: oh well

tol: hinata you can suffer with me

sunshine: thank u lev i appreciate it

youneedsomemilk: just wait for it

youneedsomemilk: hes screaming the lyrics now thanks leV

tol: when i was

sunshine: a young boy

tol: my father

tsundereshima: took me into the city

sunshine: to see a marching baaand

eh-no-shits: y r there so many notifications stfu

tol: he said

tsundereshima: son when

smol: why

sunshine: you grow up

tol: will you be

basketball mom: oh s h i t

tsundereshima: the savior of the broken 

tol: the beaten

sunshine: and the damned

soccer dad: not this again

sunshine: im sobbing

sunshine: are yall (except those who do know) telling me u dont kno what mcr is im

sugar sugar: well..,

eh-no-shits: you see..,.

senpai: we dont sooo

tsundereshima: im

tsundereshima: :')

tol: yaku san knows tho

smol: yes i do

smol: lev, that idiot

smol: when he confessed to me he sang a mcr song

smol: with a rose and played a guitar too

smol: ive never laughed so hard in my life tbh

sunshine: what song?

smol: summertime

smol: idk why that song but

smol: after that, i got into mcr

tol: oK summertime has soME romantic qualities or whatever to it oK

sunshine: that is so romantic im weeping

tsundereshima: that

tsundereshima: i cant believe im saying this but thats good

tsundereshima: i should try that one day

tsundereshima: but probably with another song or band

gucci: when u actually get the courage to confess

tsudereshima: stfu like u have any courage to confess either?

gucci: ..,

gucci: touche

* * *

_[Private message between gucci and tsundereshima]_

tsundereshima: yamaguchi i think im in love

gucci: gdi tsukki

* * *

 senpai: im curious abt this mcr tho

senpai: send?

sunshine: sure

sunshine: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ>

senpai:...

senpai:..,

senpai: hinata

senpai: hinata why i trusted you

tsundereshima: pfFT

sunshine: im soRRY 

sunshine: ok but rlly here's one of my fave ones

sunshine: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zm8xIo_2Aok>

sunshine: check this one out to: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORsFFjt1x6Q>

senpai: 'kay

senpai: ..,

senpai: damn this is good stuff

* * *

[5:39 am] 

youneedsomemilk: oI DUMBASS

youneedsomemilk: you sure ur gonna survive running w/o ur water

sunshine: no water we die like men

sunshine: i forgot it anyways so

tsundereshima: ha

gucci: why are you out running hinata

gucci: wait nvm that was a dumb question you are hinata after all

tsundereshima: lmao

youneedsomemilk: since there isnt practice sunday, and hinata is missing his bike ride to school, he just runs around and stuff instead

tsundereshima: why

tsundereshima: why do you have this much energy

tsundereshima: how

youneedsomemilk: we all ask that question

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ehheheheeheheheheh this is what happens when youre writing at midnight buahahaahah im not sorry
> 
> ok but headcanon that miya atsumu listens to mcr too bc yeS
> 
> im listening to "blood" and "teenagers" on a loop and laughing like a psycho help


	4. pancakes or waffles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> short chapter bc ive no more ideas comment some ideas if yall dont mind
> 
> god, i need to stop saying yall, yall
> 
> gdi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello i am back with my shitty low quality self indulgent trash  
> ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿
> 
> but srsly i love u all idk why u reading my shitty trash yall are too nice

sunshine: pancakes or waffles

sunshine: pls answer whoevers here rn

sunshine: its for science

brokuto: pancakes

kubro: pancakes

brokuto: b(abe)ro

kubro: b(abe)ro

nyan: why are you two like this

nyan: and pancakes

tonkotsu changed their name to makkiato

tantanmen changed their name to mattsuntsun

makkiato: pancakes

mattsuntsun: waffles

makkiato: gAsP

mattsuntsun: g-g-gasP

makkiato: babe

makkiato: is this

mattsuntsun: is this our first disagreement?

mattsuntsun: yes

makkiato: oh my god

mattsuntsun: how tragic

trash: ur both such extras

sunshine: and thats coming from oikawa

trash: fucKIN

shoyu changed their name to godzilla

godzilla: omfg nice hinata

sunshine: thanks, i try

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i might change stuff from the other chapters so you know

**Author's Note:**

> hmu on tumblr @i-am-tsuffering (main, reblog trash can) or @a-fangirl-and-proud (my posts with the occasional reblog)


End file.
